Tuesday, December 27, 2011

New Home

On the Visayas Blogging Summit that I attended last November 26, 2011, one of the speakers told us that the best blogging site is wordpress.  One of my friend who also blogs, after the event, immediately transferred to wordpress.  On the other hand, I too wanted to change my blog platform but I did not have time and I was also having a second thought because wordpress is block here in our office.(booooo...)  But yesterday afternoon, I took the first step.  I registered to wordpress so that I could import my blogs from blogger and start blogging there.  So when I went home, I exported my blogs in blogger and then imported it to wordpress.  So bye2x blogger, hello wordpress.  Please do continue reading my blog on this link.  https://channbear.wordpress.com

For those of you who are like me, who can;t access wordpress, just subscribe my blog through google reader.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Last Friday Night

Weeks before, Kring2x and I were already planning that we will go out and have a videoke night.  We decided that we will have it on December 23, since, we also agreed that we will go christmas shopping together on that day.

After we have bought everything that we needed for Christmas, we headed to our respective houses to freshen up and to leave all the things that we bought.  We agreed that we will not eat dinner together, we will just meet after we finish our dinner and after I send off Cocoy.  Before going to the pier, I texted Kring2x if she already ate dinner and that Cocoy and I were still on our way to the pier.  I did not receive any reply from her so I thought it will no longer be pushed through.(I sent my message to a wrong number...hehehehe!)  I decided to just call her to ask her whereabouts and to ask if where we will meet.  We agreed that we will just meet up in Songhits, Mango Square.  I arrived there by 9:30PM.  The place was already packed with people who also wants to go singing.  Since, there were so many people, Kring2x instructed me to reserve a room while I wait for her.  She arrived at around 10PM.  When she arrived, we were still number seven on the waiting list.  So we chika2x while waiting for us to be catered.  After an hour of waiting, we were then finally accommodated.   The plan was to just stay there for an hour, but when an employee there told us that our time was already up, we decided to extend an hour.  But when the guy came back to ask us again, we were enjoying so much that we told him that we will extend for another hour again.  hahahaha!  After 3hours of singing, we decided to call it a night.  We went home sleepy, tired but happy.  We really enjoyed the night.  It was really worth it.  I hope it will not be the last time.

Unfulfilled Christmas Wish

For every Filipino, when ber months begin, Christmas shopping and putting up of Christmas decors would usually start.  On the first day of September, a friend of mine asked me if what I wanted for Christmas, I told him that I want to receive anything that is branded and not cheap.  Shoes, bags or clothes.  But unfortunately, I did not get my wish.

Awhile ago, Lawrence, Kim, Sensei Hino and I, went to Ayala to have our lunch there.  Afterwards, since, it was still raining outside, and we still don't want to go home, we decided to have a stroll in Ayala.  We then went inside the Oxygen, Levi's and Giordano shops because Sensei is looking for a pair of pants.  While Sensei was fitting for some pants, I also looked at some items.  There were a few clothes that I liked but when I looked at the prices, it was in the range of 500-1000 pesos.  It was very expensive, and to think that it was just a blouse and a short.  I came to realize that, I could not afford to buy expensive items.  Not because I don't have the money but because I don't find it practical to buy it.  If I have 1000 pesos, I could already buy many clothes or shoes with that.  I guess, buying expensive things is not my cup of tea.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Beautiful In My Eyes

You're my peace of mind in this crazy world.
You're everything I've tried to find, your love is a pearl.
You're my Mona Lisa, you're my rainbow skies,
and my only prayer is that you realize
you'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

The world will turn and the seasons will change,
and all the lessons we will learn will be beautiful and strange.
We'll have our fill of tears, our share of sighs.
And my only prayer is that you realize
you'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

You will always be beautiful in my eyes.
And the passing years will show
that you will always grow ever more beautiful in my eyes.

When there are lines upon my face from a lifetime of smiles,
and when the time comes to embrace for one long last while,
we can laugh about how time really flies.
We won't say goodbye 'cause true love never dies.
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

You will always be beautiful in my eyes.
And the passing years will show
that you will always grow ever more beautiful in my eyes.
The passing years will show that you will always grow
ever more beautiful in my eyes.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Cabanday Clan Christmas Party

This morning, I texted all my cousins which I have a number in my mother side as to what they want us to do on Christmas day.  My sister texted back that we should have an exchange gift.  Evee and Celine replied that they want us to play Pinoy Henyo.  After a few hours and many text message that we have sent out and received, we then decided that we will have the following activities.
  • Exchange Gift worth 100 pesos
  • Pinoy Henyo
  • Charades
  • Videoke
I assigned Evee to make the props for the Pinoy Henyo.  I will be the one to buy the prizes.  Of course i will ask a little monetary contribution from them, but I am planning that i will shoulder the prizes.  That will be my gift to all of them.  Hehehehe!

Evee mentioned to me that she is already excited for that day.  It will be another happy get together.  Weeeehhh!

I came up with the idea to text them first and organize the activity since nobody initiated it.  I also don't want that the people will get bored again, like last year.  After we ate our lunch, received our gifts from our Tito's and Tita's, we did not know what to do.  So we just went to SM without knowing what to do there.  It was really boring.  Hopefully, this year, it will be a blast.  But even if it will not be, the best part of it will be that we will get together on that day happily.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

i need a power hug...

Everyday, a newsletter from Chicken Soup for the Soul will be sent on my yahoo email address.  One time, I received a newsletter from them, which narrates a story about a boy who likes to make people happy.  One day, they went to the hospital to help and to visit the patients.  As they were walking in the corridor, they passed by a room, inside the room was a woman sitting on her bed.  When the little boy saw the woman, he came inside the room and hug her.  The woman began to cry when the boy hug her.  Upon realizing it, the boy asked her teacher why was the woman crying, and if he did something wrong.  His teacher asked him if the reason as to why he hug the woman.  The boy told her teacher that, when she saw the woman, he felt that the woman needed a hug thus, the reason why he went inside the room and hug her.  Upon hearing the boy's reason, the teacher calmed the boy and told him that the woman felt Jesus' embrace through him.

How I wish I could also receive a hug today. 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Happy Birthday Chel!!!

We were classmates back in college.  We were on the same block on my first year and first semester in USJ-R.  We never really became close or even friends back then.  She has her own set of friends while I've got mine too.  My first impression of her?  She was suplada.  I found out later, that was kinda her first impression to me too.  Nyahehehehe!  I never really thought that we could be close friends.

I can't really remember how it all began.  All I can recall was we were classmates in one or almost all subjects when we were already in our second year in college.  From then on, we were inseparable.  Some of our friends would usually comment that we have our own world.  Nyahehehe!  And that is also what we observed.  What the other is thinking, the other one can then catch up.  Parang sina B1 at B2.  Hehehe!

Retchel is not just my best friend.  She is also like my sister.  She is the one I make kulit when I am bored.  She is one of the few people I make chika with when I am happy or sad.  She is the first person I talk to when I have a problem.  I am really thankful, that I met her.  Life without her would be sad and lonely.  I remember three months ago, when I confided to her something.  The first thing I told her was.  "Please don't judge me.  Please don't get mad at me.  Please don't leave me because it's the last thing I want to happen."

We don't really see each other that much this days.  Since, we're both busy.  But distance will never be a hindrance on our relationship.  When we have the chance to hang-out, walang katapusang chikahan ang mahitabo jud, so that we can catch up in what is happening in our lives.  Hehehehe!

On this very special day for her, all I pray is that she will be continually blessed by God.  That she will always be happy, will find joy and stay beautiful and healthy.

Happy Birthday Chel... I Love You... MMMMMWAAAAHHHUUGGZZZ...

Monday, December 12, 2011

one boring Sunday

Yesterday, when I wake up, I found out that I was the only one left in the house. :(  My sister went to work while my brother, my mother and father went to my brother's school for their family day.  So it was just me and Cody boy.  Hehehe!

I got very bored just watching TV at home so after I took a bath and got ready, I decided to go to colon at around 12noon to look for an outfit that I will wear on our Christmas party this Saturday.  After I found the clothes, I then went to the school supplies side and men's apparel side to buy the fabric paint and plain shirt.

I thought to just spend the afternoon hand painting on the shirts.  Hand painting on it really help in taking the boredom out of me.  I finished the shirts in time for my family to come back.

unrequited love

sometimes i don't know why i bother to love, when i know for, that it will always be the same story.  chasing a heart that will never be mine.  begging for affection that will never be given.  sacrificing for a doubtful future.  and crying for the one who will never love me back.  i am starting to wonder, could i have been wrong in risking my heart to the man who couldn't give his heart to me? when would be the right time to say that i already had enough? 

Friday, December 9, 2011

Hitch ko!!!

Just awhile ago, Kring2x asked me if I have already seen her plan trip next year and on what trip I wanted to go.  When I checked her list on her blog, I immediately answered her with "Pwede sa tanan ko mokuyog except sa Singapore?".  Nyahahahaha! 

Here's Kring2x's travel plan for next year.  I hope I'll have the money for this... Hehehehe...
1. Siquijor – January 21 – 23
2. Baguio, Tagaytay – April 28 – May 1
3. Iloilo City – October 26 – 28
5. Bacolod City – November 30 – December 2

I Never Thought I'm That Special to YOU

When I asked my previous boyfriend of almost five years, Jaydee that I wanted to break up with him, I almost beg him that he would say yes.  I know he did not understand my reasons, because even me, I did not know if I really wanted to break up with him at that time.  I did not ask him to let me go not because I did not love him anymore.  Because I still do.  One reason why I ask him to do that was because I got tired.  I got tired of always waiting and I got tired of always understanding.  I guess, I didn't love him enough for me to be more patient and understanding for him.  Or maybe because I'm not the type of girl who just sit in the corner and wait.  I was selfish, I know.  He showed me how much he loves me, he gave me everything that he know that I might need, want and love.  But I was not contented with that.  I was always asking him with more.  More effort, more love.  I was always complaining.  I was blinded by my complaints about him.  I did not see how much he really loves me.  All I knew at that time was, he did not have time for me, his love was just shown in material things.

When I asked him of my freedom, it was on the first day of September, 25days before his birthday and 24 days before our monthsary and 54 days before our 5 year celebration.  I did not see it as that, what I saw was I wanted to break up with him, right then and there.  He cried and beg so that I won't leave him and  that he would change, but I did not listen to him.  The more he begged, the more I realized that he should let me go.  After that heartbreaking and nerve wracking moment, he then game me what I want.  Honestly, I was really happy when he did that, but a part of me was afraid.  Afraid of what would be my life without him.  But I was determined, I wanted to be more independent.  To face the world without clinging to him.  So I broke his heart.

Even though we break up, we agreed that we would remain friends with each other.  We still communicate with each other and update each one of us on what is happening in our separate lives.  He asked me, if I could accompany him to Sumilon Island in time for his birthday so that we could still celebrate it together.  I accepted his invitation, it's the least I could do to him and that's the only thing I know that could make him happy on his birthday.  I know no amount of material things could exchange that feeling.

Days before his birthday, I got very busy with work, that I did not have the luxury of time to scour the mall for a possible gift.  And I really did not have any gift idea in mind that he might really like.  So on the day we went to Sumilon, a day before his birthday, I still did not have a gift for him.  So I just told him that my presence and my company will be my gift for him.  We enjoyed the food and the place.  Little did I know, earlier, he asked the staff there to setup a candle-light dinner over looking to the beach for the two of us.(it was dark, so we can't really see the beach)  I was really surprised.  It was the first time that somebody did that to me.  I never really expected him to do that, since, it was his birthday.  So, it was his day.  It was supposed to be him who should be getting surprises on that day.  But no, instead of receiving, he was giving.  He showed me how special I am to him.  Without hesitations, he showed me how much he loves me.

I am really thankful that I have met him, that he came into my life.  For showing me that I am important.  That I am valued.  For showing me how to love unconditionally and without hesitations.  He will always have a special place in my heart.  He will always be bhe2x Jaybear.

What Happened?

When I was still a little girl, my father and my mother thought me and my sister on how to pray the Lord's Prayer and the rosary.  My father would tell us to kneel before the altar and to follow him while he recite the Lord's Prayer or when he pray the rosary.  We would usually obliged even though sometimes we are already tired and sleepy.  Every October, my whole family would pray the rosary night after night since, October is a month of the Holy Rosary.  Also, when the image of Mama Mary will be brought into our house, we will gather on our sala to pray the Holy Rosary infront of the image of the Virgin Mary.  After praying, we would have a chat then me and my sister will then go to bed.

That was the scenario in our home back then.  Even during dinner, we always eat together.  But when me and ate got older, especially when we were already in college, we got busier and busier every year.  We sometimes come home very late in the evening from work.  So the nightly praying of the Holy Rosary and eating our dinner together was stopped and we hardly get together to talk nowadays.

There is really no constant thing in these world except change.  Each and everyone of us would really change sooner or later.  But even though, we don't talk as much as I want to, I know that when time comes that I will need them, they would be there for me.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

my art to business

This morning, an idea came into me. Because I want to paint and draw, and I already experienced hand painting design on my shoes and shirts, why not start a business on that. Hmmm! I pitched the idea to my friends Retchel and Aime and they told me that the idea is nice. I think so too, I just have to research more on what good materials and tools to use and come up with good designs. I should also have the determination to pursue this idea of mine. Hopefully, this would really work.

Image from http://the-mojo-jojo.blogspot.com

Monday, December 5, 2011

nang dahil sa facebook

When I was on my 2nd year in college, I met a petite girl.  She was a one of the many faces that comes in and out inside the CMO office.  I forgot how we really became friends, but we did.  From the time we became friends, Aina and really became close friends.  But those times of hanging out inside the CMO office, canteen and library was short lived.  Aina then transferred to a different school to another province.(I forgot where in the Philippines it was. Hehehe!)  I did not have any contact information from her, so we lost contact.  The only thing that can attest our friendship were her books that she lend to me and I forgot to return.  Hehehehe!

Just last month, when the CMO group was created in facebook,  Aina and I began to communicate again.  Weeehh.  From our conversation, I've learned that she was in Tacloban working as a call center agent.  I told her to go back to Cebu and work here.  Hehehe!  Several weeks later, Aina sent me a message in fb that she was already here in Cebu.  She was searching for a job so that she can settle here.

So, yesterday, we agreed that we will meet up in Jollibee P del Rosario before the 11 AM mass begins.  We talk and catch up with the happenings of ours' and our friends' lives.  This time, I returned her books that she lent me and I lent him some books.  Aina is still the same, petite and very talkative.  Hehehehe!  Talking to her, makes me miss my other college friends so much.

just want to cry it out...

sometimes i think, people just want me around or just wants to be friends with me when they need something from me...but forgets about me when they don't need me anymore...and it hurts...it really hurts a lot...especially when you thought, all those times that they were your friends...you've fought for them and you've been there for them when they needed you...but in just a blink of an eye, they were gone...

Waiting in Vain, Again?

Hating myself right now for waiting in vain again. Sigh!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Freedom lies in being yourself

I never wanted to be different; I just wanted to be me
I've worked hard to get what little self-esteem I have, and I refuse to let you take it from me
This is who I am. Nobody said you had to like it.

I'm so tired of not living my life.  It's as if I'm living on a different life.  There are times that I can't say what I feel to you.  All I want is your understanding.  A hug or a kiss on the forehead may do. 

It's so sad waking up every morning knowing that you'll be facing your day with full of heartaches.  Knowing that you won't be able to tell that one person how you really feel.  You long to tell him, but your afraid and you don't know how to tell him.  There would be times that you get the courage to tell him but end up getting disappointed because he will not hear you out.

There are times that you want to do something to show to that person how you really feel.  But then again, you get sad because he shrugs you off.  He will tell you to behave.  He will not get what you wanted to tell him.

Please let me be myself.  Please let me be, to show to you and to tell you how I really feel.

Walking on Thin Ice

Being with you is like walking on a thin glass of ice...